What Brand are YOU?

This world has a very negative view of people who try to influence others. Salesmen are amongst the most negatively referred to groups in our society, right next to thieves and parking attendants. But the truth is that we are all trying to influence other people all of the time. Right now I'm trying to influence you into agreeing with what I'm saying. Funnily enough, you're probably now trying to convince yourself that you won't be influenced, but please, read on, it'll be worth it.

So whilst we are all being influenced constantly, from all directions, and also trying to influence the world in every other direction, you can see that there is a massive amount of tension building up in our little societies. It really is amazing the amount of duress humans put themselves under for the sake of….well…..for no good reason at all! Let's take a second to look at how you interact with the world. What is the image you project?

Difference between perceptions and reality

Most people consider themselves more intelligent than most others. Obviously this is logically flawed, we are not all of superior intelligence. It simply isn't possible! Likewise we are not all the best at our jobs, or the best drivers, or the best looking, or the fittest, or the funniest. There must be an advantage to this type of delusion – it's immensely widespread. Oh that's it! It makes us feel better! And once again we come to the ultimate truth of all marketing – it's all about feeling good. The effects of cognitive dissonance (a tendency to change your thoughts/attitudes to justify and continue existing behaviour) and the love of comfort zones mean that we all have this tendency to view ourselves as superior. Viewing ourselves as superior, despite it not necessarily being the case, is much easier actually being superior – which takes effort and leaves us open to criticism.
(Note – issues such as body dysmorphic disorder and other perceptual psychological illnesses are examples of the brain perverting these protective systems. My discussion ignores these relatively rare conditions)

Problems exist when we want to achieve something, or are expecting results based on our perceptions of ourselves and they don't happen. If you consider yourself particularly good looking and charming yet every woman you approach looks the other way then there is an urgent need to change your view of yourself as charming. Likewise, in the workplace you might consider yourself a hard working, industrious type – but if everyone else thinks yu're slacking off all the time then something has to change. Take a minute to think about how you are viewed by others –potential customers, co-workers and the general public. If you want positive, warm interactions then you need a bit of an understanding of how people like to be treated.

Clothes maketh the man? Blond hair and big breasts? What is all this?

Image and personal presentation are the first things that people experience when they encounter you (although the online world is changing this!). But people often make the basic error of thinking that clothes make the man. They don't. Clothes help, but at the end of the day it's wrapping paper and if the person inside is bland then the encounter may be pleasant, but forgettable. It's also important to remember that dressing 'well' usually means conforming to a certain standard or look. Conformance is easy to forget. Again, you need to be impressive in how you interact with people. Branding yourself as well dressed can be a good thing, but if you think it will make the difference between getting a job, or a sale, or a sponsorship you are completely missing the point.

Nothing catches a man's eye more successfully than a tall blond with tanned skin and big breasts. I really detest this as a fact of life, but it's true. It makes men seem so shallow and downright stupid. Next time you see a blond with tanned skin and big breasts, take your eyes off her for a second and look at the people around her. Every single man in the vicinity will have his eyes follow her. It doesn't even matter if she has a particularly unattractive face, guys will look, smirk and smile. This 'brand' of woman is presenting a headline. An obvious visual statement that for some, perhaps biological reason, is guaranteed to get noticed. Like the man in the sharp suit (who is decidedly more common than the tall blond female and therefore less head-turning) it is an introduction. But as every good marketer knows – grabbing attention is easy, keeping people's attention is where the skill comes in.

How do you sell yourself? Who is your target market?

This is the important one. What is it that you want from people? Do you want them to leave you alone? Fine, be rude and closed off. Refuse to smile and keep conversation to a bare minimum. This won't get you very far if you are looking to influence people, but it's a way of choosing what you want. Do you want to be remembered? Then you need to stand out. The great part about this is that society is getting ruder and more impatient. The reason it is great is because it's easier to stand out just for being friendly and interested in someone. Beyond the roles, costumes, facades and moods of all us lies an individual – a social being that would prefer stimulating entertaining conversation to mundane repetition. The extension of this is that nobody can resist warming up to people who show an interest in them.

Are you true to your brand?

Are you trying to be a hard-hitting confrontation-loving manager? Does it really suit you? Do you find yourself constantly trying to keep up with how everyone else within the organisation acts and behaves? Then there's big chance that you're either miserable, in the wrong organisation or both. We all cling to our jobs to the point of doing just about anything to keep them, forgetting that this big wide world has infinite possibilities and options. I can tell you now that you will be infinitely more successful in life – whether you measure success in happiness, promotions or money, if you are true to yourself. Nobody trusts a company that presents as being great that delivers nothing. Likewise nobody will trust you if you are trying to convey images of competence or fitting in when you're out of your depth. Sometimes it's a lot better to work with what you have, instead of trying to grab onto everything that you don't.

I found this out a difficult way. I had always followed in the footsteps of my grandfather: a conservative, serious, old-school business type. He spent 50 years with the same company and has set himself up immensely well in his retirement. I congratulate him, but it took me until 18 months ago to realise that I'm not built this way. I had been working my backside off in his organisation, getting great results but not ever really being accepted by the people within the company. They were all guys that had come off the tools and into the office. I was a university graduate with no real knowledge of what it was like to be on a worksite and slave away with 50 hours of manual labour a week. So I got out of there and I've never looked back. Instead of fighting against the tide every day I'm embracing the change and loving every minute.

The other common mistake that people make is being too contained! If you sit there thinking things that you don't say out loud then people aren't seeing you for everything that you are! You are completely misrepresenting yourself! I see this as the most common and horrendous self-crime there is. By all means filter what you say in order for it to be compliant with your surroundings, but make sure you express yourself! You would be amazed how many of those thoughts and comments that you think are offensive are actually perfect ice-breakers. I had a business meeting with a client last week. The man was underdressed and looked embarrassed. The first thing I said to him was "Thank God one of us dressed appropriately! It's far too hot for a shirt and tie!" and I ripped off my tie. You could literally see the discomfort disappear from him.

Now be whatever you want to be – anything less is a lie.