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Orphan Marketing is a free, personalised, online Marketing consultancy that will help you discuss and plan your marketing. CLICK HERE to drop an email right now. You can expect a detailed response within 48 hours. The full Orphan Marketing website is under construction, and should be accessible mid Feb 2011.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Why I want my Money Back

I’m a highly qualified individual.

Ten years of full time university has given me four different tertiary qualifications.

I want my money back. And this is why:

1.       I taught myself most of what I know 
                 Sure, the universities put together some great subjects and courses, but the reality for me was    that I was given a book list and very, very limited tuition time with the people I was supposed to have on my side as a learning resource. I also did a post graduate certificate by correspondence and across four subjects I think I received a total of two hours attention from lecturers and tutors. Pathetic. I could have read four text books and learned just as much, without the $2500 fee per subject.

2.       You don’t get a degree based on how much you know
         This is perhaps the biggest shock when you finally realise it, and I want everyone out there to realise this very early on. The game of degree attainment is one of playing a game – it’s about getting a criteria list, sticking to it with as little creativity as possible, learning how to reference correctly (usually contributes 20% of the mark on assignments!) and making sure you get your assignments in on time. Actually, you don’t have to get your assignments in on time, lecturers don’t want to be seen to have a high failure rate, so they will ‘work with you’ to ensure those pesky deadlines aren’t as killer as you think they are
     
        A good friend of mine, one of the best marketers I know, recently failed a subject. This is in no way due to a lack of knowledge, this was due to him trying to fit every piece of knowledge he has into every question on an exam. “You didn’t answer the question that was asked” explained his subject coordinator. Fine, that’s a valid criticism and my friend has to learn to get to the point, but the problem for me is all the fucking  ill-equipped, text book regurgitators out there that pass exams knowing EXTREMELY LITTLE. If I see a marketing degree on someone’s resume I test them in the interview. I never take a university qualification as evidence of knowing anything. I would love the opportunity to interview 30 random graduates from a marketing course and rank them. My ranking would be based on marketing effectiveness and communication skills, and the ranking would be completely different to that of those that win the uni games.

3.        Marketing degrees are built around easy examples that lack relevance.
          If you get into an argument with a budding marketer around the topic of branding they will throw up the following examples: Coke, Apple and the most prominent car brand in the local industry. These are the examples that get smashed into you throughout the course of a marketing degree, but seriously, how many of us are in the position on influencing brand decisions on these major global companies? What’s that? You think these are great brands and should therefore be held in high esteem and treated as the goal for any brand manager/marketer? That would be a good point if these brands shot to prominence overnight, but they didn’t. Apple was the hey diddle diddle second fiddle to Microsoft for 20 long years before the product and brand was recut. Anyone out there looking to become a brand manager for the same company for 20 years? No? Well don’t use Apple as your pinup boy. 

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