Happy Mother's Day

Something really bothers me about Mothers’ Day being denigrated as being just another ‘Hallmark Holiday’.

Bothers is too weak a word, it’s more a case of being really pissed off about it. I get so angry that I sometimes find myself arguing with complete strangers who thought they were having a private conversation near me.

When I look at the key female figures in my life I see my wife and my mother-in-law. Unfortunately my own mother died from breast cancer back in 1996, which left me rather rudderless for a few formative years, but there is never a convenient time for such a thing so I accept life (and death) and move on. This blog is about the living, and these two maternal beings are amazing people, with their own styles, quirks, opinions and strengths, and both deserve the luxury of the queen treatment for a day.

This weekend I witnessed these two women performing their amazing acts of motherhood within the space of 48 hours. On Friday night my young
daughter, 10 months old, had been developing a cough. This isn’t all that new, she’s had a cold for a few days and you come to expect these sorts of noises, especially with a second child. But there was one cough that made my wife sit up straight like a meerkat, turn her adrenaline driven gaze to me and say “something’s wrong”. I hosed down the concern saying that she is just a kid with a cough and that it’ll all be okay, followed by “If you’re really concerned go upstairs and check on her to put your mind at ease”. I didn’t have to say that because my wife was already sprinting up the stairs to find my daughter gasping for air and struggling to breathe.

I called the ambulance, she calmed the baby. Then I went out to the street looking to catch the attention of the ambulance.

Standing on the street in the cold darkness, feeling my pulse throbbing in my neck and shivering with panic and fear, my mind turned to the amazing response of my wife. It was automatic, instinctive, primal and intense.
Somewhat more surprising, however, was the arrival of my mother-in-law. Let’s get this straight, this is not your usual nagging, interfering, nobody-is-good-enough-for-my-daughter type of mother-in-law, this woman is fun, lively and has accepted me into her family with open arms. But this doesn’t explain how she arrived at my house quicker than the ambulance (which eventually arrived in the space of 12 minutes.) I didn’t think much of it at the time, I was surprised but so glad to see her, I ushered her inside and waited for the ambulance.

My daughter recovered well. It was a case of croup, which needed urgent attention but is now completely healed. But something was chewing away in the back of my mind. How did my mother-in-law arrive quicker than the amblunace? The answer? She felt something was wrong. She didn’t make a call, she just ran to her car and drove across town before we had even called the ambulance.

A premonition? Intuition? Telepathy? I can’t explain it, but it is an amazing mother/daughter/grandmother bond that was on display and it has me stunned. It’s eerie to think about, even to this day I get a little overcome just thinking about it because it is amazing.
These magical people deserve a day of tribute.

One day a year, perhaps two if you really go to town for birthday celebrations. Why are there so many miserable people out there that hate Mothers’ Day? (and by extension, Fathers’ Day, Valentine’s Day and any other celebration that doesn’t have religious roots.)
The complaints come in a few common forms:

1. It’s just a day created by marketers to sell cards and gifts.
This isn’t true. Marketers didn’t create Mothers and they didn’t create the idea of honouring mothers and motherhood. The notion has been around since ancient times. Perhaps it is the commercialisation of the day that people don’t like? In fact I’m sure this is it, but this really shouldn’t stop you enjoying Mother’s Day or from giving your mum something she loves. If you’re not a materialist or a consumerist, commit an act of kindness! Our society is full of needless consumption. Household appliance sales go through the roof for Mother’s Day (because nothing says “I love you” like a brand new washing machine), and yes, so too the sales of greeting cards. The idea of Mother’s Day is great, if you don’t like commercialisation don’t buy into it, but please don’t look down on people for trying to express gratitude because THAT is obscene.

2. You shouldn’t wait until Morthers’ Day to pay tribute to your mother.
This is a fair comment, but it’s also rather stupid. Everyone is grateful for the great work done by their mothers. We literally wouldn’t be here without them, but the truth of life is that if someone gives you unrelenting support/help/service/love, etc then eventually you will take it as ‘normal’ rather than amazing, and in effect take it for granted. So even for those who do their best to try and make life easy for mothers, those who hold their hands during labour, those who do their share of the housework so it doesn’t fall back onto superwoman will take the great things for granted. A dedicated day to saying thanks makes everyone sit back and take stock of how lucky they are.
So if you put up a resistence to Mothers’ Day this year I hope you reconsider for next year. Mothers are great, they need to be told and in my mind Mother’s day should be a national holiday.

I’ll leave you with this strange clip – my mother, I’ll always love her……

Pester Power

Marketers are an evil breed.

Have you noticed how they position children’s toys at a child’s eye level in the supermarket? Of course you have! Have you ever noticed that everything from toothpaste to toe nail clippers have cartoon characters on them? Of course you have! The idea of pester power-  getting kids to nag at their parents until the sheer weight of noise breaks them down into purchasing some needless piece of crap just to shut them up – is not new.

Those evil marketers – they know exactly what they’re doing.

But did they ever think the opposite would happen?

It was only yesterday that I found myself taking my three year old to the supermarket. It was supposed to be a quick trip, and I prayed that it was going to be a painless one. All I needed was some milk and cheese. It really shouldn’t be too much to ask. So here I am, literally running through the supermarket, carry my three year old (who has moved into the bantam weight division) with the aim of moving so quickly that his young eyes can’t keep up with the hundreds of brands whizzing past his face. And it worked! Until I had to put him down to collect the milk and cheese. As soon as I put him down to the ground he yelled “DAD! Look at this! Thomas! Thomas pyjamas!”

"Oh shit", I thought to myself.

So I went over there, indulged the discovery of the young man and said “wow, that’s great! Now let’s go”. And to my surprise he said “okay.”

What!?
No argument? No fight? No tears, or screaming or tantrums? I felt cheated! How dare he do this to me!

“Jake – you know what? You’ve been a really good boy, do you want these Thomas pyjamas?”

“Nope” he said.

WHAT!?
This isn’t how it is supposed to work! I’m offering a gift here! I’m trying to buy some affection! I’m trying to put down a deposit on some good behaviour for the rest of the day!

“Come on! Take the pyjamas!”
“I don’t need them, dad”. he said, completely content with life.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Don’t get me wrong, it was great that he wasn’t cheated by those marketing scumbags into wanting something just because it had his favourite moody little blue train on it, but this simply wasn’t fair! I was looking for a payoff here, and my son was taking that chance away from me.

“Alright, we’ll get the pyjamas”

It is a cardinal sin of any marketer to fall victim to cheap marketing tactics, yet I had actually pestered my own son for the chance to buy something he didn’t really need for the sake of some enjoyment that he wasn’t even showing any interest in! I hang my head in shame.

For those interested – here is a remix of my two favourite childhood

Who is Lex Garey?

When I look around at the sorry state of the world in all its impoverished misery I sometimes find myself scratching my head and wondering which cause I should get behind and where I can really make an impact.


The sad part is that no individual can make an impact – it is the collective work of thousands of people that makes a difference. This is sad and I feel bad for these guys. As much as we all want to help and would prefer that people didn't have to suffer, there is an element within us all that likes to have direct influence and be able to see that.


Then I came across Lex Garey.


Who is he?

This is a young guy who likes to write. The topic of choice is connectivity – the ways in which humans manage to connect and intertwine their lives. He is intensely interested in how people manage to have deep and meaningful connectinos in seemingly innoucuous interactions. Very interesting material and he appears to be a really interesting writer.


More interesting, however, is the fact I came across his mission to get to Australia and immediately wanted to contribute. (Check it out) The interesting part for me is that I saw this and immediately wanted to help. Sure, I know that there are 1000 charities that are available to donate to, and they're only a small or two click away, but here I am hearing about a guy who has been giving a chance to come to Australia and experience the amazing thing that is a creative forum.


All he needs to do is raise $2,000.


I've thrown in $50 towards this. It's a mere 2.5% of the overall but it'll help. The concerning thing for me is that starving children etc are clearly in greater need for help than Lex – yet I want to help Lex much more. He isn't being forceful, he is simply putting out the message "I need to raise some cash to get to Australia – want to help?". Part of the appeal is that there is an endpoint. $2000 is attainable, whereas curing world hunger and poverty seems insurmountable.


Orphan Marketing is very much committed to helping people get out there and build careers. But the Orphan Marketing brand is simply an extension of my values and what I want to do. To contribute to this guy having the trip of a lifetime is a real buzz for me. More to the point, I just love how ridiculous it is! Out of nowhere some people from The Hub in Melbourne have decided to get together to bring this guy across. It's strange and amazing. It's just strange enough to want to be a part of.


Good luck to you Lex – hope you make it!



While you're here - follow Lex on Twitter @lex_garey