Pester Power

Marketers are an evil breed.

Have you noticed how they position children’s toys at a child’s eye level in the supermarket? Of course you have! Have you ever noticed that everything from toothpaste to toe nail clippers have cartoon characters on them? Of course you have! The idea of pester power-  getting kids to nag at their parents until the sheer weight of noise breaks them down into purchasing some needless piece of crap just to shut them up – is not new.

Those evil marketers – they know exactly what they’re doing.

But did they ever think the opposite would happen?

It was only yesterday that I found myself taking my three year old to the supermarket. It was supposed to be a quick trip, and I prayed that it was going to be a painless one. All I needed was some milk and cheese. It really shouldn’t be too much to ask. So here I am, literally running through the supermarket, carry my three year old (who has moved into the bantam weight division) with the aim of moving so quickly that his young eyes can’t keep up with the hundreds of brands whizzing past his face. And it worked! Until I had to put him down to collect the milk and cheese. As soon as I put him down to the ground he yelled “DAD! Look at this! Thomas! Thomas pyjamas!”

"Oh shit", I thought to myself.

So I went over there, indulged the discovery of the young man and said “wow, that’s great! Now let’s go”. And to my surprise he said “okay.”

What!?
No argument? No fight? No tears, or screaming or tantrums? I felt cheated! How dare he do this to me!

“Jake – you know what? You’ve been a really good boy, do you want these Thomas pyjamas?”

“Nope” he said.

WHAT!?
This isn’t how it is supposed to work! I’m offering a gift here! I’m trying to buy some affection! I’m trying to put down a deposit on some good behaviour for the rest of the day!

“Come on! Take the pyjamas!”
“I don’t need them, dad”. he said, completely content with life.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Don’t get me wrong, it was great that he wasn’t cheated by those marketing scumbags into wanting something just because it had his favourite moody little blue train on it, but this simply wasn’t fair! I was looking for a payoff here, and my son was taking that chance away from me.

“Alright, we’ll get the pyjamas”

It is a cardinal sin of any marketer to fall victim to cheap marketing tactics, yet I had actually pestered my own son for the chance to buy something he didn’t really need for the sake of some enjoyment that he wasn’t even showing any interest in! I hang my head in shame.

For those interested – here is a remix of my two favourite childhood