Happy Mother's Day

Something really bothers me about Mothers’ Day being denigrated as being just another ‘Hallmark Holiday’.

Bothers is too weak a word, it’s more a case of being really pissed off about it. I get so angry that I sometimes find myself arguing with complete strangers who thought they were having a private conversation near me.

When I look at the key female figures in my life I see my wife and my mother-in-law. Unfortunately my own mother died from breast cancer back in 1996, which left me rather rudderless for a few formative years, but there is never a convenient time for such a thing so I accept life (and death) and move on. This blog is about the living, and these two maternal beings are amazing people, with their own styles, quirks, opinions and strengths, and both deserve the luxury of the queen treatment for a day.

This weekend I witnessed these two women performing their amazing acts of motherhood within the space of 48 hours. On Friday night my young
daughter, 10 months old, had been developing a cough. This isn’t all that new, she’s had a cold for a few days and you come to expect these sorts of noises, especially with a second child. But there was one cough that made my wife sit up straight like a meerkat, turn her adrenaline driven gaze to me and say “something’s wrong”. I hosed down the concern saying that she is just a kid with a cough and that it’ll all be okay, followed by “If you’re really concerned go upstairs and check on her to put your mind at ease”. I didn’t have to say that because my wife was already sprinting up the stairs to find my daughter gasping for air and struggling to breathe.

I called the ambulance, she calmed the baby. Then I went out to the street looking to catch the attention of the ambulance.

Standing on the street in the cold darkness, feeling my pulse throbbing in my neck and shivering with panic and fear, my mind turned to the amazing response of my wife. It was automatic, instinctive, primal and intense.
Somewhat more surprising, however, was the arrival of my mother-in-law. Let’s get this straight, this is not your usual nagging, interfering, nobody-is-good-enough-for-my-daughter type of mother-in-law, this woman is fun, lively and has accepted me into her family with open arms. But this doesn’t explain how she arrived at my house quicker than the ambulance (which eventually arrived in the space of 12 minutes.) I didn’t think much of it at the time, I was surprised but so glad to see her, I ushered her inside and waited for the ambulance.

My daughter recovered well. It was a case of croup, which needed urgent attention but is now completely healed. But something was chewing away in the back of my mind. How did my mother-in-law arrive quicker than the amblunace? The answer? She felt something was wrong. She didn’t make a call, she just ran to her car and drove across town before we had even called the ambulance.

A premonition? Intuition? Telepathy? I can’t explain it, but it is an amazing mother/daughter/grandmother bond that was on display and it has me stunned. It’s eerie to think about, even to this day I get a little overcome just thinking about it because it is amazing.
These magical people deserve a day of tribute.

One day a year, perhaps two if you really go to town for birthday celebrations. Why are there so many miserable people out there that hate Mothers’ Day? (and by extension, Fathers’ Day, Valentine’s Day and any other celebration that doesn’t have religious roots.)
The complaints come in a few common forms:

1. It’s just a day created by marketers to sell cards and gifts.
This isn’t true. Marketers didn’t create Mothers and they didn’t create the idea of honouring mothers and motherhood. The notion has been around since ancient times. Perhaps it is the commercialisation of the day that people don’t like? In fact I’m sure this is it, but this really shouldn’t stop you enjoying Mother’s Day or from giving your mum something she loves. If you’re not a materialist or a consumerist, commit an act of kindness! Our society is full of needless consumption. Household appliance sales go through the roof for Mother’s Day (because nothing says “I love you” like a brand new washing machine), and yes, so too the sales of greeting cards. The idea of Mother’s Day is great, if you don’t like commercialisation don’t buy into it, but please don’t look down on people for trying to express gratitude because THAT is obscene.

2. You shouldn’t wait until Morthers’ Day to pay tribute to your mother.
This is a fair comment, but it’s also rather stupid. Everyone is grateful for the great work done by their mothers. We literally wouldn’t be here without them, but the truth of life is that if someone gives you unrelenting support/help/service/love, etc then eventually you will take it as ‘normal’ rather than amazing, and in effect take it for granted. So even for those who do their best to try and make life easy for mothers, those who hold their hands during labour, those who do their share of the housework so it doesn’t fall back onto superwoman will take the great things for granted. A dedicated day to saying thanks makes everyone sit back and take stock of how lucky they are.
So if you put up a resistence to Mothers’ Day this year I hope you reconsider for next year. Mothers are great, they need to be told and in my mind Mother’s day should be a national holiday.

I’ll leave you with this strange clip – my mother, I’ll always love her……